Gym Class Woes
by Stella Ann
Summary: Bella and Edward are in gym class together when they discover they will be going on a field trip where Bella will be armed. But with what? And what will this fatal day bring?
1. Chapter 1 The Grim and Dangerous News

A/N- I usually only write Twilight poems so comments are VERY much appreciated. I appreciate criticism. Happy Viewing! 

The animosity that Mike showed toward Edward was shocking. I knew that Mike hated him but I had no idea that it ran so deep. It was a pretty easy transition when Edward came back after the little trip to Italy (with a few wolfish exceptions) which is why I knew that it couldn't last. I first realized that there would be a problem when our Gym class teacher announced that the senior class was going on a field trip. At the time I was cheering on the inside because, honestly, how much trouble could I cause at a little field trip. I clearly underestimate myself.

flashback to a few days earlier  
"We're going to Traverson's Forest Paint War in four days."

The boys in the class cheered and whooped. I noticed Mike held back from the yelling; He just sat there with this calculating look on his face. Then all the girls looked around nervously at each other. Lauren looked around, rudely, at the boys display of excitement ,but I noticed the hesitation behind her eyes.

Paint War? Why were the girls so scared? Was it some sort of a movie? Edward saw the confused look on my face and chuckled. We were currently lined up, and sitting, on the floor in the dirty gym. Edward sat in the front, and center, and I sat right behind him. You could imagine how thrilled I was when I realized that the whole class could view my wonderful coordination when it came to jumping jacks (and just about everything else that involved using my feet. Oh and my arms.).

"It's a paintball range." I looked at Edward in horror. I was going to be armed. Oh No. My mind went into overload, coming up with excuses as to why I had to miss it. I could tell them that guns scared me but Charlie was a police chief so that might not work. As I continued to think of ways that could keep the rest of the class, and myself, safe from me, Edward slowly scooted closer to me. "If I have to go, so do you, love."  
"But its not safe." I tried to give him my best impression of a puppy dog and I saw his eyes soften momentarily before he pulled me in for a hug.  
"Bella, am I going to have to convince you to go in front of all these people?" His velvety voice caressed my ear as his hand caressed my back. At that moment I was thinking, what other people? Instead of voicing my thoughts I just wordlessly nodded. I figured the teacher was talking and he wouldn't notice that Edward was now kissing every part of my face. As his icy lips moved towards my pouted ones, we were jerked from out reverie.  
"Mr. Cullen, what do you think you are doing?"

Edward let out an exasperated sigh like it was his class that had just been interrupted.  
"I would think that was obvious, sir. I couldn't keep myself away from Ms. Swan. She is really quite the distraction"  
The class stirred at Edwards comment and I turned a deep red.   
"Mr. Cullen, in the future you would do well to keep your hands to yourself, no matter how." He paused for a moment, thinking. "…distracting Ms. Swan is. I do not want to kick you out of my class." Edward just flashed him his widest and most charming smile and it seemed all was forgiven. He kept his arm around me though and I suppressed a shiver at its coldness.

For the next forty-five minutes the class discussed the rules and regulations. I didn't pay attention. I was trying not to hyperventilate at the thought of my impending doom. Edward kept whispering sweet words of reassurance into my ear but how could he possibly understand. I was a walking disaster and they were going to give me a weapon and I was supposed to FIRE it at other people. I knew I wasn't the only one thinking this because every two or three minutes someone in the class would turn and look at me with a terrified stare. I didn't blame them, but Edward silenced them with a freezing glare.

"I will be right there with you the whole time. You have nothing to worry about." He tried to make me smile by tapping the tip of my nose with his elegant fingertip, but I just glared at him. "You know how lucky you are that you are invulnerable? I am probably going to end up shooting you, or possibly myself, in the eyeball. You realize this, right?" For some reason I was mad that he was so graceful. So perfect. His hand eye coordination was perfect. Whereas I had the hand eye coordination of a toddler. It was these angering facts that caused my to mumble, sourly, "Stupid, perfect, graceful Mr. Vampire." Edward looked shocked for a moment, then he burst out laughing. I looked at him, irritated, for one second before I started laughing with him. He was just so beautiful when he laughed, I couldn't help but want to share it with him. Our teacher didn't think it was so beautiful though. He turned and started stalking in our direction. When he was about ten feet away from his destination, us, the bell rang. Edward and I stood and started to rush out of the gym doors, laughing the whole way.  
It was at this moment, of course, that I tripped and fell over air. Edward tried to grab me but the rest of the class was right behind us and blocking me from him as I fell backwards. I knocked into whoever was behind me and then they fell backwards causing a massive domino effect of all 30 of us. The only person standing was the stupid, Mr. Vampire. A smile was plastered on his face, it was almost smug. He offered me his hand and I grudgingly took it. I didn't want to, but I had to, look at the damage I had caused. I turned around and held in a bark of laughter when I saw the state of my classmates. You couldn't tell where one ended and the other started. Domino effect, indeed. The funniest picture had to be Mike and Lauren. Mikes foot was in Lauren's hair and Lauren's butt had somehow managed to plaster itself to Mike's face. How either of those things happened I had no idea but neither of them seemed to be able to move and extract themselves. Everyone was quiet and staring at me so I offered a quick apology and ran to the locker rooms, blushing brightly and not wanting to look at Edward's smiling face, I also took care not to fall again.

I changed at a record speed. I grabbed my bag and rushed outside where Edward was waiting for me. He was still smiling. How irritating. Instead of stopping I just walked right past him hoping he would get the idea and drop the "funny". He caught up in a moment (of course) and turned me to face him. I expected some sort of joke or anything but what he did. He very swiftly, but softly, placed his lips over mine. I sighed into the kiss, but held relatively still. I was behaving. When he lifted his head away I very quickly went in for another light peck. He smiled at me, took my hand, and led me towards his Volvo. "So…how's you backside? You landed pretty hard."

"It's fine." I didn't want to talk about it. Edward let out yet another chuckle. He was in a very good mood today I guess. "Oh, so you think it's funny, do you? Humph." I dropped his hand and started walking faster. He caught up with me and grabbed my hand gently again. "Bella, love, you didn't hear what those poor children were thinking." He chuckled to himself and I looked up at him. I smiled at him and he gently squeezed my hand. We walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Occasionally squeezing the other's hand for fun. He drove me everywhere now so we could spend even more time together. He told me that I didn't need to work, that it was just hours of time that he couldn't see me and that he would pay for everything that I might need. I scoffed at this and told him he was delusional. We didn't argue over it. Lately, we had been like a couple on a honeymoon. We didn't fight. Not even about my mortality. It was a common knowledge that I would join his family soon. Whether my marriage or bite first, I wasn't sure yet. I had bigger problems than that train of thought though. I had to figure out how not to end up killing someone in four days.


	2. Chapter 2 The Grim and Dangerous Boxes

**Authors note The intro from ch.1 is after the field trip. It was just a little introduction. Please Review. I appreciate it so much. Even if you hate it please let me know how I can make it better. **

The next two days went by too quickly. Everyday during gym we would go over rules and regulations. Each day the looks of fear towards me were getting worse and worse. It wasn't until one day before the "trip of hell" to the paintball park that we actually started to go over how to use the gun. Coach Clapp made the mistake of actually bringing the guns to class so we could learn how to use them properly. He walked into the gym holding a large brown box with a red warning label that said _Use safely and keep out of the hands of children._  
More like keep out of the hands of Bella, I thought bitterly. He called us all in to form a circle around him. Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed and he placed his head in the crook of my neck.

"What are you thinking, Bella"?  
Oh, Just how I will probably kill our whole class (with the exception of Edward), get arrested by my own father, have my Vampire boyfriend testify against me in a court of law, and spend the rest of my stupid mortal life being some other woman's bitch until I eventually kill her, accidentally, by slipping and falling down the stairs on top of her. Then I will get put into the mental ward when I start yelling at imaginary vampires because they wouldn't change me when I wanted them to, DAMN IT!

"Nothing much." I answered with a shrug. No need to let him in on my crazy tirade. I would have blushed by my lie if I wasn't so terrified of my own upcoming doom. I honestly didn't know if it was possible to kill someone with a paintball gun, but if there was a way I am sure that I would "accidentally" figure it out.

"Liar." He smirked at me then leaned down to give my neck a kiss. I shuddered and goose bumps rose all along my neck. We were lucky that coach Clapp was busy with the rest of, what looked to be, 6 boxes. I didn't want Edward to get in trouble again for being "distracted" by me. I was especially glad that Coach didn't see when Edward then proceeded to kiss up along my jaw to behind my ear. Thank goodness he was standing behind me otherwise I wouldn't have been able to stand up.

He stopped just as Coach Clapp turned around and looked at my flushed face with a smug look. I narrowed my eyes at him before playfully slapping his hard arm. He was just too beautiful. Even in his ugly gym uniform he could be posing for a Ralph Lauren ad. He gave me his crooked smile. I went to smile back at him when his head whipped around inhumanly fast and his face darkened. I followed his gaze to find Lauren looking at me with a look of disgust and hate on her face. I would ask Edward later what she was thinking but at the moment he was busy giving her death glare 5. That was the one that he usually saved for when I said something about Jake. Death glare 4 was reserved for Mike and his so called "impure" thoughts about me. The rest were reserved for different reasons that weren't really important to me at the moment because I was staring at Edwards angelic face that was turned into something that would have made me wet myself if it was directed at me.

I was getting worried that Edward might burn a hole through Lauren's powdered forehead if I didn't make him stop soon. I went to grab his shirt when, thankfully, Clapp called the class to attention.

"Ok kids, today you are going to get in groups of three…wait…no groups of four. Each group will get a gun. Don't worry though, all the guns are on safety. Then we will go over how to load the gun and shoot it. Okay, now group up."  
In what seemed like 2 seconds the entire class had moved at least 10 feet away from me. I was surprised when even Mike moved away from me. I guess his chivalry didn't go ahead of his health. Smart guy.

"Bella, would you like to be in my group?" I smiled at Edward. Thank goodness he was a vampire and invulnerable because I really didn't want to hurt him. He laughed at my worshipping smile and pulled me against his side. It seemed that the rest of the class had paired of into groups. It was just me and Edward on our own. I silently cheered to myself. I wouldn't end up hurting anyone if I was with just Edward.  
Coach Clapp came by and handed us out gun, giving us our required safety speech. As he walked away he gave Edward a meaningful look that clearly said "Don't give Bella the gun".

We were given the instructions on how to load it and given some space to try. Edward held the gun in his hands and asked me to hand him the paintballs. I was ecstatic that he didn't want me to hold the gun. Maybe if I just hid up a tree tomorrow I wouldn't have to even try to fire the gun. I put the balls in his hand and he deftly loaded the gun. Since we were the first ones to figure it out Edward decided that he should get a little reward. He set the gun down and looked at me seductively. I giggled because he was dazzling me and he knew it. I was beyond caring though. His tawny eyes had me mesmerized otherwise I would have stopped him when he started peppering my forehead with kissed. Forehead…that made me think of something. Then it hit me…

"Edward, what was Lauren thinking that made you angry?"  
He pulled away from his kisses with a slight growl and looked a little perturbed for a moment.

"She was just being nasty Bella. Don't worry about it." He tried to return to his earlier activities when I pushed him away.

"I want to know, Edward." I tried to look as stern as was possible. He sighed in defeat. Since Italy he didn't like making me upset.

"She was thinking that you would be lucky if you didn't end up killing me because you are the clumsiest person that she has ever seen in her life."

I smiled, "Well that's good then, isn't it?" He looked confused so I continued, "Well that means she doesn't know you are un-hurtable," I paused at my made up word, "and that I can prove her wrong."  
It was at the moment though that I would prove Lauren right. As I went in to throw my arms around Edward, I somehow managed to kneel on the handle of the gun and lift it up. What happened next had to be a sign that karma absolutely loathed me because the next thing I know I hear a whoosh sound and then look down to see blue paint splattered on my shirt. I did a quick check over to make sure nothing was hurt. I was fine so I looked up with a smile at Edward.

He looked so shocked- like he was about to burst out laughing or crying (if he could), I wasn't sure which. Edward had blue paint all over his glorious face. It looked like the paint ball had made contact with his eyeball.

"Edw…I am…Oh my GOD…so sorry…" My bumbling was cut off by his rumble of laughter. Laughter that caught the attention of the class. Then I realized something. Any normal human person would be crying about now. Edward seemed to realize this at the same moment because he gave me one last bright smile then continued to cover his eye with his hand and let loose a long line of curses. He started rolling on the ground yelling in pain. Wow, he put George Clooney to shame.  
Coach Clapp ran over, looked at my guilty face, realized what happened, and told me, breathlessly, to get Edward to the nurse NOW.  
I kneeled down by Edward and he put on a show. He grabbed on to me weakly, as his one hand was still covering his eye, and "bravely" lifted himself off the ground. I expected the class to start a slow clap for him as we walked from the gym. The second we were out of sight he lifted me off the ground and started running. Before I knew it we were in his car and Edward was barely controlling his laughter.

"So, how did I do. Do you think I fooled them?" He was so smug and handsome, even with blue paint all over his face, and I felt so stupid. Now everyone thought that I had shot out my boyfriend's eyeball. How great for me. I gave him a pathetically fake smile and he pulled me onto his lap.

"I love you, Bella. Even if you will be the death of me." I started to make a retort when his perfect lips cut me short. I didn't mind though. What I did mind was the fact that as he kissed me, he was rubbing the blue paint all over my face. Then he started to massage my back and I forgot about that too.

**Thanks for All the Lovely Reviews. I had a few mistakes in this chapter so I tried to fix them all. D Thanks to **reading in a corner **for pointing them out to me. It was very appreciated. I will try to post a new chapter soon but I have another Twilight story in the works. **


	3. Chapter 3 The Grim and Dangerous Prude

**Hello. So it took me so long to get this up because I was stuck for a while and not sure if I wanted to turn up the rating and add some mature stuff. I decided against it (for now) Thank you so much to the 16 people who reviewed. It means so much to me. This chapter is just a fluffy filler chapter. I am still brainstorming the actual paintball park thing and the mike incident. Please check out my other story, A Surprise For Edward. ;D**

Edward and I went straight home after we were done "talking" in his car. Jasper was going to pick Alice up after school anyways ;They were going hunting. I was glad that I wouldn't have to explain the paint that was all up and down my neck (and all over my face) to Alice. Besides, I thought bitterly, she probably had already seen my little accident. Right now the whole incident was probably being spread throughout the school. I could just see it now…

"Psst. Hey, did you hear how Bella Swan shot out Edward Cullen's eyeball."  
That one would probably be some underclassman.

"I am so not surprised! What a terrible girlfriend."  
That one would be Lauren.

"Well, I heard that he has to wear an eye patch until they can find him a glass eye.  
I don't know who that would be, but I inwardly cringed at the thought of it. Then I laughed, none of the Cullens would be caught undead wearing an eye patch. Well…except for maybe Emmett.

I was sitting in Edward's room on his leather couch. I could have gone downstairs but I was still covered in blue paint and didn't really know what to do. Edward had left me in the living room with a kiss, telling me he would be right back and to wait. I was sure no one was home but I didn't want to risk it by going downstairs. I had started to look through his CD's but I stopped when I almost got paint on one of them. Somehow I had blue all up and down my arms. I wonder how that happened? I blushed when I remembered how Edward had spread little kisses all up and down my arms.

I seriously was getting agitated. I didn't like not knowing where he was. I got of his couch and it squeaked in protest. I walked towards the door and turned the knob. I took one step out into the hallway when the door close to me opened and revealed a sight that I would never forget for the rest of my existence.

A naked Edward Cullen.

Ok, so maybe he had a towel wrapped around his waist, but still, I mean Edward with a towel. He readjusted his towel quickly reached behind him to shut the light off and then his eyes snapped to mine. I felt the ground fall out under me and realized that I must not have been breathing. I fell to the ground and was instantly lifted by two caring and very familiar arms. The next thing I knew I was back on the squeaky couch and Edward was looking down at my eyes. My eyes, however were busy looking everywhere but Edward's face.

"Bella. Bella, honey, look at me. Are you okay?"

I didn't want to look at his face though. I was busy looking at his defined abs. I lowered my gaze to where his towel was just barely held together. I curiously wondered what he would do if I just pulled that not the tiniest bit to see what lay beneath. It was then that I had the decency to look away and blush. He must have noticed where my gaze had been because he looked mortified and embarrassed.

"I'll be right back." He moved swiftly from his dresser to out the door.

I quickly mulled over the thoughts that just went through my head. I had wanted, so badly, to just pull off that towel and ravish him. Those thoughts had shocked me though. I knew that I had wanted him but I didn't know I was so…wanton.

**---------------------------AN- this was where I was stuck. This might have been a turning point-from pg to M **

I quickly shook those thoughts from my head as Edward re-entered his bedroom. He was wearing a simple black shirt and dark jeans. He looked shamefully at his feet. I sighed. I couldn't believe he felt embarrassed. I was the one that couldn't keep my eyes in check.

He cleared his throat and then looked up at me. "Bella, I am very sorry. It was indecent of me to be walking around in naught but a towel when you were here."

I held back a laugh at that. Edward, who once told me that I was drunk in his presence, was apologizing for wearing just a towel around his house.

"You are such a prude." I giggled before I saw the look in his eyes. He moved before I could even blink. I was trapped under the cage of his arms on his couch. It groaned in protest out our collected weight. He looked down at me with half lidded eyes that were filled with love and sparkling with mischief.

"What was that, dear Bella." I tried to answer but he started attacking me with kisses. Kisses on my face, on my neck, in my hair. This was nothing new but it was, as always, welcomed. It was what his hands were doing that shocked me. They had moved from their cage-like position by my head and were now running along my sides and over my stomach. He was usually never this touchy feely and the feeling of his cool hands on my body sent sparks through my spine. He moved his mouth back up to mine and I moaned when I felt his hands barely touch the bottom of my breasts. The moment the moan came out of my mouth Edward jumped off of me and for the second time that night, he looked slightly ashamed. That was not the only thing on his face though. He was covered in blue paint again. I never had the chance to clean up.

I had wanted to laugh at the paint on him but I felt like it would be better to talk him out of his shame.

"Why did you stop?" I hoped that this would be a simple enough question, for now.

"We were going to far, Bella. I almost got out of control."

"What? Out of control like you were going to rip through my neck or rip off my clothes." We were both a little shocked at my bluntness. I hadn't expected the words to fly out of my mouth like that.  
Edward hung his head. "I don't know. Both thoughts came to mind." He sadly smiled at me and I returned it. I got off the couch and wrapped my arms around him. He smelled my hair and sighed.

"We need to get cleaned up before the blue permanently stains your skin and you become the first vampire to ever join the Blue Man Group."

"There is no way that I would ever join."

"Why not? I like the Blue Man Group?"

"It's very simple, Bella. They would try to shave my head and I would kill them. My hair wont grow back you know."

"Tsk Tsk. Well, aren't we vain Mr. Cullen?"

"Not Vain, just smart. Now go and get cleaned up."

I gave him a little peck on his nose before walking to Alice's bathroom. I wasn't worried about what I was going to wear when I was done. Alice had told me that I was allowed to any of her clothes that were in the third drawer of her dresser. She had also said that if I ever wore anything that wasn't in that drawer that she would give me a makeover every day for the rest of my mortal life. I shuddered at the thought. I would make sure to only go into the third drawer.

Right as I opened the door to her impeccably clean bathroom I felt something hit my butt. I whipped around and saw no one.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN!"

All I heard was a chuckle and a door slam. I sighed.

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**Ok so I know it wasnt the best chapter but it was just a little filling in my story oreo. Please Review. I love reviews. People who review deserve wonderfullness to rain down on the in the form of Eclipse books. Then we would all die of happiness a few months early. Oh WOE until Augest. Well I will work on the next chapter for A Surprise For Edward soon. I am a little stumped with that story but o Well. I hope you enjoyed. **


	4. Chapter 4 The Grim and Dangerous Fluff

**AN... Sorry it took me so long to get another chapter of this up.  
**

**I noticed recently that my Edward is always laughing. I like him that way. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. It's the longest yet. I also have the new chapter already half done so it should be up relatively soon. A big thanks to my Beta, enough4forever. Please check out some of my other work on here. So far, it's all Twilight oriented. **

To say that the next day was uneventful would be a total and complete lie. In the day before the trip, most of my classmates where either doing one of two things: ignoring me completely, or they were trying to find someway to convince me to not go, like Jessica was doing at the moment.

"Bella, are you sure you feel well? You look a bit peaky. Maybe you shouldn't go tomorrow. It would be awful if you got there and then you had to leave because you got sick."

She had braved the invisible table line at lunch and was feeling my forehead at regular intervals muttering things like, "very warm" and "should stay home."

"I am perfectly fine, Jessica." Unfortunately, I thought. If there was any way I would have gotten away with "being sick", I would have done it in a heartbeat. Sadly enough for me, I had a boyfriend that was like a lie detector. Even if Edward couldn't read my mind he could still smell me (Once, he said I smelt odd and I got the worst cold of my life the next day. It lasted three weeks) and feel me (He always knew if I had a fever) and he could, always, tell if I was lying. At this moment, though, Edward was trying to regain his composure. A few minutes earlier he had broken out into a fit of laughter that had, at the least, frightened Jessica. I suppose he thought this situation was funny. The gorgeous jerk. Jessica had never seen him smile, let alone laugh and her look of fear next to my glare must have looked hilarious to Edward because he had continued to laughed for a minute longer before his chuckles subsided. The rest of lunch continued in this manner until, finally, Jessica was called over to where Mike was sitting. I silently cheered.

"I have never heard them more determined in all my time here." He smirked and I kicked him under the table. That, of course, resulted in me reaching under the table and rubbing my toes through my shoes.

"You know I don't want to go, Edward," I whined, "You're making me. Otherwise I would be perfectly fine with staying home. Or..." I tried to look innocent and seductive at the same time. "We could go to the meadow or just stay inside and watch movies, all cuddled up."

"And deprive me of the chance to see you with a gun? I don't think so Bella. Sorry, love, but I already promised Alice that we would go with her. She already bought you some sort of paint ball uniform." At this, I groaned and put my head in my hands. "That I am sure will look wonderful on you", he finished.

I looked up with a smile. "Will it look better than blue paint?"

He smirked and said, in a low voice like a growl, "Nothing will ever look better on you than blue paint."

I blushed, and he added, "Maybe someday I will see you in blue paint." He paused and I looked at him, confused for he had already seen me in blue paint. I started to answer when he finished. "And nothing else."

My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest and I was sure that I had never been so red before in my life. Edward chuckled, grabbed my hand from across the table, and sighed.

"Calm down, Bella. I was only joking."

I let him mistake my reaction for embarrassment rather than excitement.

Since seeing him in only a towel, my mind was constantly assaulted with visions of a semi-naked (sometimes fully naked) Edward. It was at times like those when I was eternally grateful that he couldn't read my mind. I wasn't usually susceptible to thoughts like these. I always thought that, someday, we would finally be "together" but I was fully aware that it wouldn't be anytime soon. I had enough problems on my mind with the paint ball trip without having to worry about Edward seducing me, without him even realizing it.

The bell rang, announcing the end of lunch, and Edward gracefully got up, pulling me with him.

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At the end of the day I walked, hand in hand, with Edward to his Volvo where Alice was waiting. We became slightly held up when Edward decided that my lips looked a little under appreciated. So as we walked towards Alice my lips were slightly red and noticeably kissed. Alice turned, saw us, and yelled, "Come on, Edward! Hurry up! I want Bella to come over and see her new outfit!"

Edward smiled at the horrified look on my face. I hated when they spent money on me. We reached the car and Alice pushed me into the passengers seat the moment Edward unlocked the car. She bounced in the back seat. "Hurry up, Edward! Gosh, the next time it takes you this long to get to the car I am going to hot wire it."

The next few minutes were spent with Alice chastising Edward and Edward growling at the mention of his car getting broken in to.

As we pulled up to the house, Carlisle's sleek Mercedes pulled out along side of us. He rolled his window down and spoke,  
"Hey kids, work paged. I will see you when I get home."

Edward nodded and Alice waved, cheerily. "I probably won't be home before you have to get home Bella, so I will see you tomorrow." I beamed at Carlisle. He really was a wonderful second father. I guess I didn't really count Phil as a second.

He started to roll his window up and then, as if he remembered something, stopped and rolled it back down.

"Hey Bella."

"Yeah?"

"Be safe tomorrow, okay? I don't see many paint ball injuries but..." He trailed off but I knew what he was going to say, "but...when it comes to you." I was glad he didn't say it though so I just nodded and waved goodbye as he drove away.

Alice must have gotten fed up with the constant interruptions because the next thing I knew I was getting pulled from the car, rushed into the house, pulled past a smiling Esme, and whisked away and up into Alice's room. Jasper was lounging on the bed reading some sort of Psychological text.

"Hello Bella." I smiled.

"Alice, do you know where..."

"No, but you need to get out honey." She interrupted him with an excited smile.

Jasper looked at her suspiciously, "Why are you so excited, Alice?"

"I got Bella some new clothes."

A look of understanding crossed his face and he got up to leave.

"Have fun." He smirked, I groaned.

A bag proceeded to fly out of the closet and land on the bed. I turned to look at the culprit behind the flying bag. She had a smile on her face that could only be described as evil. I looked towards the bad again and realized that it was full. Not one outfit could fill up a bag like that.

"That better not all be for me, Alice"

"And if it is, Bella?"

"Well... you know I hate when you spend so much money on me, Alice"

"Yes, but Bella, you are going to be part of this family soon and you need to get used to people spending money on you. All I am doing is preparing you. You should be thanking me." The smirk on her face was completely devilish.

I sighed in defeat and looked into the bag.

An hour later, we (meaning Alice) had decided on an outfit for tomorrow. It was a little too tight for my tastes but it covered me everywhere and was black. I was thankful for both features because it was concealing and protective at the same time.

We had spent far too long playing "Barbie with Bella" and my curfew was starting to go into effect. I hugged Alice and grudgingly thanked her for the outfit. Then I went in search of Edward. I found him, in the living room, locked in a headlock with Emmett's buff arm wrapped around his head. I could barely blink before the position changed and Edward had Emmett's arm twisted up behind his back. Emmett laughed. "Nice move, bro."

They hadn't even noticed me at the bottom of the stairs yet so they continued to wrestle. That is, until they knocked over a picture frame on the mantle of the fire place. At that point, Esme came into the room and all fighting ceased immediately. "What is going on here? What have I said about fighting in the house? Take it outside next time or..." She paused in though. "I will take away your PS3 and your Xbox360!"

Emmett's pained yell of, "NOOOO!" reverberated through the house. Rosalie, as if on cue, sauntered down the stairs and groaned.

"Emmett, be quiet. You are acting like a child."

"But Rose, that Ps3 is new. I just got it after..." He stopped here, not wanting to bring up an old argument.

Rosalie just sneered at him, then she turned to me and said pleasantly, "Hello, Bella. How are you?"

"Just fine, thanks. Actually I need to be getting home." At this Edward looked up apologetically.

"Sorry, love. Let's get going then."  
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Charlie wasn't home from work yet when I got home so I said goodbye to Edward and started making dinner.

Charlie got home sometime later and by the time we had finished the manicotti it was already a reasonable time to go to bed so I said my good nights and walked upstairs. I took a quick shower. By the time I was dressed and ready for bed Edward was already waiting for me in the rocking chair.

"Took you long enough." Edward complained.

"You sound like Alice" I giggled and he pulled me into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled his enchanting scent. I loved him so much that I felt like I could burst from it, but in a good way. He started stroking my hair and I moved my head and gave his throat a little kiss. He moaned appreciatively and the sound sent a flutter low in my stomach. I continued to press little kissed all up along his throat and then I proceeded to do something I had never done before, I bit him. Just a tiny little scrape of my teeth over his skin but the reaction was immediate. Edward growled. Then I licked the spot where I had bit him. I was slightly upset that I would be unable to mark him but his reaction more than made up for that. As my tongue moved over his Adam's apple he groaned, "Bella." My name coming out of his mouth enticed me even more as I started to unbutton his shirt and drag my tongue along all of the skin I exposed. As I reached the fourth button his hands reached down to stop mine. "That's enough for tonight, Bella" His eyes were dark and I could feel what I had done to him.

"I don't think so, Edward." To prove my point I swirled my hips slightly in his lap and he threw his head back and growled deeply.

"Bella, please." He was begging now.

"Please what?"

"Stop."

I looked into his eyes and slowly got off of his lap, embarrassed. I was never this forward. I just tended to forget that we had lines that shouldn't be crossed. In my defense though, he was too seductive to resist.

He stood up and pulled me into an embrace.

"I want to Bella, I do. Someday, I promise. Just not tonight." He whispered into my ear.  
"Maybe I should just go home tonight. I don't know if I can sleep in the same bed with you right now."

Guilt swept over me at the pained expression in his eyes. "No, stay, Please? I will be good, I promise."

He smiled down at me then laid down on top of my covers and patted the covers next to him. I climbed in to bed next to him and he turned on his side. I slid against him, innocently of course, and pretended not to notice his slight moan as my thighs made contact with his most sensitive area. I settle in, gave his chest a kiss, and slowly my eyes closed. I was happy; we had broken a boundary and who knew how many would follow. I was excited and the fear of what would happen the next day was momentarily pushed from my mind. I dreamt of an Edward covered in blue paint and nothing else. In my dream, the paint turned out to be frosting. I licked it all off.

**I am seriously considering an adult Twilight fic. If anyone is interested in reading one just let me know so I know that it is not a total unrequested option. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. Ladies and Gentleman, Eclipse is less than TWO MONTHS AWAY!!!! squee  
**

** STELLA**


	5. Chapter 5 The Grim and Dangerous Thump

**AUTHORS NOTE **

**So... I have been getting a few reviews saying that my Bella is un-Bella. Someone has even said she is getting slightly... slutty. I love reviews so much because I would never have thought of that. Let me just defend myself here. We ALL love Edward Cullen. We ALL have some kind of odd fantasy about him. So could you imagine being Bella? She has to be with him EVERY day. Their relationship is filled with so much tension (both sexual and not) that I just wanted to show how (I think) Bella will eventually responding to that tension. She basically has an aphrodisiac next to her. Eventually the poor girl is just going to SNAP. And with the dream at the end of last chapter... I mean, Come On! Who can control their dreams? Bella is also a girl, a teenage girl at that. She has all these feeling running through her and Edward has always had an astounding effect on her. He is perfect and she wants him. And let's face it Bella is only human (for now anyways). **

**I hope this has cleared some things up. Don't get me wrong, I ADORED those reviews because I could shed some light on what I was thinking. Please review the story. Say anything you feel about it. To all the people who reviewed previously, Thank you so much. It means so much. I may not respond to them all but I read (and Love) every last one of them. **

**Also I am still planning on writing an adult story to go along with this story. I will post it on my live journal eventually and will let you all know when it is finished. ( I hope I finish) **

**ALSO, the last half of this is NOT Beta'd because I was so anxious to get it up tonight. The first half was corrected by the wonderful enough4forever. Thank you. **

**Sorry for the way long authors note. READ ON...**

In the morning there was no gentle kisses, cuddling, or waking up to sweet fingertips running, softly, through my hair. My morning was quite the opposite actually. It consisted of me falling out of bed. How, you may ask, with such a boyfriend could I possibly fall at all? Well, the chuckling buffoon was too busy holding back his snorts at the time to try to assist me in unwrapping the blanket, which had caused me to fall, from around my legs.

I had landed on the floor with a resounding "Thump".

The fall happened about four minutes ago. I was still lying, face down, on the hardwood floor.

"Bella, honey, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

This was about the third time he had repeated some version of that phrase. I was beyond caring. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't upset at Edward. I was irritated at him, but I was stuck on the floor because of fear. I was absolutely terrified at what the day would bring. Paintball Hell.

The reason I had fallen out of bed was the same reason that Edward was laughing, or at least that is what I assumed.

I had been dreaming. That is, after all, what a normal human usually does. However, a normal human doesn't usually dream that somehow the blue covered Edward that she had been preoccupied with earlier had turned in to a gun. A gun which, after absolutely no hesitation (it was a dream after all), she grabbed.

In the dream, the room we had been residing in then proceeded to turn into the Paintball Park and I had proceeded to turn into "The Terminator." I must have done more than just talking in my sleep because I woke up to find myself hanging half off the bed with my sheet wrapped like a vise around my legs. Flailing and trying to right myself, I looked over to my side to see a snorting and sputtering Edward. After my thumpy landing, Edward had tried to lift me up but I winced and he immediately feared that he hurt me and hadn't tried to touch me since, resorting to verbally questioning my health. I had only winced, though, because his cold finger had slipped into a hole in my shirt and it was a huge contrast to my sweaty body.

Nothing was really registering though. The dream had triggered severe anxiety. I was going to be armed in less than...the clock read 5:00 am...four hours.

Edward's breath suddenly hitched and I felt an un-earthy breeze wash over my back. The next moment there was a knock at my door.

"Bella, you okay? I heard a loud noise." Charlie knocked once more before entering.

He inhaled sharply when he saw me, face down on the ground.

I groaned and lifted myself up with my arms. "I'm fine. I just feel out of my bed."

He looked me over, cautiously, before saying, "Okay, Bells. I am going to work now. Have fun today, okay. And be safe. I don't want to have to receive another call about you being in the hospital." Though Charlie's words were teasing, his eyes were sincere. I nodded at him and he gave me a quick, one-armed hug before departing.

With a moan of desperation, I threw myself on top of my now sheet-less bed, my back slamming into the mattress loudly. There was no way that I would be able to go back to sleep now.

A soft caramel voice broke through my wall of fear, "I'm sorry that I laughed at you, but, Bella, you should have seen yourself. You looked like you were trying to shoot a massive gun at your closet, all the while saying things that only Arnold Swartzenager would." At that, he let out a soft laugh.

I whimpered slightly, threw my pillow over my eyes and held it down.

"I really don't want to go," I mumbled. He sighed sympathetically, then gently lifted the pillow off of my face. He leaned in close and softly brushed his lips across my forehead.

"I won't let anything happen to you. Ever."

"It's not me I am worried about. It's the people that will be within a mile of me."

"Alice said not to worry, Bella. She called while you were in the middle of your 'dream'. Everything will be fine." He smiled at me.

I sighed and closed my eyes. What disaster could I possibly cause today?

A smooth cold hand started to slowly run down the side of my face, "I love you, Bella and I will love you even if you shoot Mike Newton in the nose. In fact, I may love you even more."

"Not funny. It's a major possibility." The hand started rubbing slow circles along the base of my neck. I could tell he was trying to distract me and it was almost working. Normally, at this point, I would have nearly passed out from the intensity of him, but my mind was so filled with visions of paint-splattered corpses that I could barely concentrate on what his lovely hand was doing to my neck muscles.

I loved and trusted Alice completely but the future is not written in stone. Anything could happen, even with my invulnerable boyfriend by my side. And there was another fear in the back of my mind; a fear that I would somehow reveal that the Cullens were not your average, everyday family. What would happen if one of them had to use their "special" abilities just because I did something ridiculous? I could not live with the knowledge that I had somehow put the Cullens in that situation.

By this last train of though, Edward's hand was moving his fingers delicately over the curve of my shoulder. I felt my bed lower from his weight as he sat himself down on it, his hand gently moving off from my shoulder. He slowly laid himself down next to me on his side, draped an arm over my stomach and held his head up with his other hand. His dark gaze bore down into me and, for a moment, I felt no fear, nothing, just my pure love for him. I smiled slightly.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Distracting me."

"I thought I always distracted you." He smirked.

"Well, I needed a little extra dazzling this morning."

"Anytime. Shall I dazzle you some more, then?"

He didn't wait for an answer before lowering his lips to mine. For a moment, I felt as though my brain had melted.

There was always the huge temptation to just open my mouth and let him claim it, but I knew I couldn't so I improvised. I nipped at his bottom lip and then proceeded to suck it into my mouth. I was rewarded with a groan and the weight of his chest gently pressing into me. I was always shocked with what my body did around Edward. He brought his mouth to my collar and planted icy kisses there. I almost couldn't control my hands as they traveled to the bottom of his shirt and felt their way under it. I had no experience with this kind of thing, yet I felt as though I could lay here for hours just feeling his body. I was surprised at my own daring, especially when my hands felt their way up to his chest. His cold skin soothed my burning hands as I traced between every rib and muscle.

He really was the best distraction.

**NOT MY LONGEST chapter ever but it is just another part of my story sandwich, and YES people, we are almost at the top bun. The next "real" chapter will be the PARK!!! Will Bella become a murderer? Will the Cullens be discovered? See you next time for... Gym Class Woes. **

**Review please. **

**I am pretty sure that the rest of their little bedroom romp will be my adultfic. IF you don't want to read it, don't worry, I will make sure that the story moves smoothly onto the next real chapter. So it won't be like you miss some of the story line. I will let you know when I post the adult chap at my livejournal. I am pretty sure it will be titled "The Grim and Dangerous Bed" chapter 5.5 **

**Stella **


	6. Chapter 6 The Grim and Dangerous Fidget

So this chapter is short sweet and sappy but it is my gift to you, wonderful readers, for all the lovely reviews. This chapter is also here so you know I AM continuing with this story. There are a few chapters left to go. Also, there will be no adult chapter for this story because I do try to keep it slightly cannon and this is supposed to have happened before the end of Eclipse. Enjoy and Review.

**I fidgeted with the radio. Back and forth and back again between two stations.**

**"Normally I don't mind when you fidget but I don't think changing the station this much is healthy, Bella."**

**"..."**

**"I told you it would be okay. I promise." He let out a smile in my direction.**

**I found my voice was still not working.**

**"Please talk to me, Bella. I don't like it when I can't hear what you are thinking."**

**"...I... I'm just so scared of hurting someone, or doing something that will out your secret. What if I ruin everything?" What if I put someone in the hospital?" My hands started to shake in my lap. They were then stilled by white fingers caressing my thumb.**

**"Don't be afraid. I won't let anything bad happen to anyone," he pause to look and me and grimace, "even Newton."**

**"Don't do anything too superhuman, though."**

**"Sure."**

**"Promise me, Edward."**

**"I do. No Superman actions."**

**I brought his hand up to my lips.**

**When we pulled into the parking lot I felt like it was my first day of school again. Everyone was staring at me with the same intensity that they did the first time they were judging me. My door was pulled open and Edward pulled me close to his side.**

**At my side, I held a bag with the outfit Alice picked out for me in it. Also in the bag was a lunch and a first aid kit. Hopefully the first aid kit wouldn't be needed.**

**Our gym class was to report to the gymnasium before the first bell. With every minute ticking by my heart seemed to beat louder and louder and I don't think I was the only one that was hearing it's increasing rate. Edward kept pulling me closer and closer to him until I wasn't even sure where his arm and mine were. He slowly guided me over to the bleachers. I felt like an invalid but I was great-full for the care.**

**We were the first two in the Gym and it seemed like every breath I took echoed in the rafters.**

**"Breathe. Just breathe. My goodness. If you are this bad about a little field trip, imagine how you will be at our wedding."**

**I inhaled sharply, then smiled.**

**"At our wedding, I wont be holding a loaded weapon."**

**He chuckled. "Hopefully not. Unless you want to do a terminator themed wedding. You seem to enjoy doing that impersonation so much, dear."**

**I blushed and swished my hand forward to slap him on the chest. His stupid, perfect reflexes kicked in however and the next thing I knew, my hand was getting assaulted with little sweet kisses all over. In the middle of my palm, the space between my thumb and pointer, no area was left un-worshipped by that gloriously cold mouth. I took all of this without making a sound (that may have been caused by the fact that I couldn't breathe). The moment that he moved to my neck, however, the noises started. Little kisses along my jaw and, finally, under my ear were all it took for me to start gasping. When his tongue found the ridge of my ear. I let out a moan and grasped his shirt, wanting nothing more than to rip it off and have my way with him. Or at least to feel his hard muscles underneath. God, how I wanted him...**

**"Hem... hem."**

**I jumped a little and looked up. There, standing no less than 15 feet in front of us was the majority of our class. Mike Newton at the head, looking like he was about to get sick. Then there was Angela who looked embarrassed for me and Jessica, who was whispering something in Lauren's ear. And, most surprisingly, there was Coach Clapp, standing behind Newton, looking at us like he had no idea what to do. He shook his head once then said, "Alright, shows over! Sit down and..." he looked at Edward, "keep your hands to yourselves."**

**Then I looked into the face that I cared the most about. Edward only had eyes for me though. He must have realized that they were watching before I even knew they weren't alone.**

**"Why on earth didn't you say anything." I whispered.**

**He smiled and grasped my hand. Leaning so his lips were right up against my ear he said, "How do you feel right now."**

**I shivered and turned red. "How the heck do you THINK I feel, Edward. This is unbearable."**

**Another chuckle. "Yes, but for the last ten minutes you haven't thought about shooting anyone."**

**With a sigh, I nodded and continued to listen to Coach Clapp.**

**"You are representing this school. I expect no nonsense. There will be many officials there to help you. When we arrive, you will split up into four different teams. The team that is declared the winner will gain ten extra credit points for the semester. Alright kids, out to the buses!**

**There was a flurry of movement as students rushed out of the gym and out of the school to try to get the backseats of the bus. Some things never change I guess. Edward and I lagged behind so when we got to the bus the only seat available was one near the middle.  
I scooted in first and****he slipped his arm around my back. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder where it received a kiss. I nuzzled him.**

** "My GOD! Could you two be any more sickening?" **

** Twisting around in my seat, my eyes met that of Mike Newton. Edward didn't even turn around but I heard the slight growl that emitted from his chest. **

**"Mike, just stop okay?"**

** "Why don't you two get a room."**

** "Newton, I would move seats if I were you." Edward still had not even turned around but the threat in his voice was enough to make Mike recoil in his seat.**

** "Whatever Cullen." He got up and moved back four seats, shoving Tyler into the inside of the seat. He turned his eyes toward us, glaring. **

** Edward smirked in his direction and brought his lips down to mine. That is where they stayed for the next hour and a half. **

Review and you shall receive...a new chapter! Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7 The Grim and Dangerous Pffft

**A/N. It's been a long time. What can I say besides life happened... death happened and I'm sorry it took me so long. Hope you enjoy. There will be another chapter after this. I'm a little rusty. Haven't written anything for a year... just a forewarning. And thanks to all the people who still reviewed even after its been so long since I updated. I appreciate it more than you can know. **

My hell was here. They actually handed me a gun. ME! This is not supposed to ever happen. I'm supposed to have a caution sign around my neck and bells on my feet. Seriously.

After splitting up into four teams we all were given directions and instructions by various employees of the Park. The woman speaking to us now vaguely resembled Steven Segal... with shorter hair. She had war paint in her jacket and insisted that we cover ourselves in it. She most certainly had already covered herself in it. I was hoping that Edward would 'convince' her that we didn't need to look anymore like warriors then we already did. Yeah... right. But the adorable prick thought it would be funny to cover my face in oily nasty black paint. I glared at him as hard as I could but all he did was wink at me and say, "Consider this payback for the blue paintball." I pouted as he gently swiped his finger under my eyes.

We get our directions to our meeting point and start to head off. Our team does not include ,thankfully, Lauren or Mike. They were my main concerns. Hopefully if they weren't on my team I wouldn't even have to see them and they would miss out on my "experience'. Unfortunately my favorite little pixie isn't on our team either. Alice had, after being placed on our team, convinced Coach to put her on a different team than ours saying something about 'sibling rivalry' that made Clapp laugh. I looked at Edward, questioningly.

"She offered a challenge. I accepted.'

I expected as much but still had to ask, "What kind of challenge are we talking about here? A friendly little game of who can hit who first or what...?

He smiles. "More like, who can hit who the most and fastest without getting caught."

"But I though you were out once you got hit once." I had read and re-read the rulebook we were given. Thinking and hoping that if maybe I understood the game more I would stay out of trouble.

I get a very, very serious look. "Bella, when, if ever, have we played by the rules?"

I think for a moment... "Well... everyday actually. I mean you completely live by societies nor.." A kiss cuts me off.

"You were talking to much." His eyes are sparkling as he pulls away.

We arrive at our destination and wait for our signal to start. I start shaking. I start panting. My eye starts twitching. To be honest, I'm a complete mess and having a fricken statue of a man staring at my quivering eye like its the strangest thing he's ever seen does not help! Especially when he reaches out to touch it like its a third eye or something. I slap his hand away. He gathers up both my palms in one hand, leaving my gun to fall to the ground, and pulls me to him.

"Your blepharospasm is a bit alarming, dear."

I gasp, pull away and cover my upper body with my hands. "My WHAT?!" Fearing the worst, I check my whole body, making sure nothing is ripped or bulging or unhealthy looking. I let out my breath after a minute and look at Edward questioningly. He's laughing hysterically... again. It seems I have been a HUGE source of amusement for him the last few days. How annoying.

"What's so funny?"

"It means..." He stops, mid-sentence, and listens. Then, faster than I could even see, he pushes me down on the ground and lands on top of me as many (and I do mean MANY) paint balls zoom by and hit the tree we were standing next to. Edward stands up, looking victorious. "Nice try Alice!"

I look around a full 360 degrees trying to see her anywhere but Edward just pulls me up and says, "she is gone already. Caught me off- guard. Little demon"

I re-adjust my goggles and just nod. I hadn't even known we started to game. I grab my gun from the ground. At least I hadn't shot anyone yet.

* * *

..............................On the other team...........................................

Mike Newton was scheming. He was sick and tired of that stupid Cullen always trying to make him look bad. Always acting like he's Bella's keeper. It really gets on a guys nerve. He hated how Cullen made his 'flight or fight' act up and he especially hated how he almost always chose 'flight'. Okay, fine! So he always chose 'flight'. So what? It wasn't his fault Cullen was a nutty teenager with a scary ass growl. He was just being safe is all.

But back to the scheming. He continues whispering to Lauren and Tyler. Whispering very non-rulebook following things, by the way. Oh and it's all anti-Cullen. Well anti-male Cullen. The little female one was on their team. She had, thankfully, disappeared almost right away.

The whispering went on. The scheming continued. But in the back of one blonde's air-filled head these scheme-ey, rule-breaking thoughts were all directed towards someone who was not a Cullen, someone clumsy and someone named Bella.

..........................................................................................................................................................................back to our team...............................................

I had not shot anyone yet! If I wasn't still so paranoid I would be celebrating. I had simply sat down between two trees and refused to move. My gun was safely at my feet with the safety on and I was feeling pretty good. Edward was keeping watch and pouting because I wasn't 'participating'. Hmmm... whatever. I sat munching on the apple I packed. This went on for about twenty minutes. Me, humming and munching and Edward, tense and listening for Alice's thoughts. It was in about the twenty first minute of our silence that I realized we were alone... in the woods... did I mention alone? I cleared my throat once... twice... there that got his attention. He looks at me and I smile in what I like to think is a seductive way. He raises his eyebrow and I go to stand up.

"Hi." I flutter my eyes.

"Hello." He smirks.

"So... all alone... in the woods..." I trail off, surprised again at my daring.

That receives an even bigger smirk. "Would you like me to name all the tree types for you. The one you were sitting under is..." This time I kiss him effectively cutting him off. I pull away for a moment. Just long enough to say, "You were talking too much." I then resume my favorite activity. Kissing Edward. But thats not all I want to do. I know I wont get what I want but I will most certainly keep trying.

And try I do. I push myself as close to his body as I can get, wrapping my hands in his hair. I take my mouth from his, kissing, licking, biting, and sucking every bit of skin I can get to between his lips and the collar of his shirt. His moans and sighs keep me determined and when he backs me against a tree my motivation is at a high. I didn't think we could get any closer until we did. I can feel him, even through my protective outfit and it just adds fuel to the fire that has been raging inside of me. My belly coils in pleasure as his hands slide down to cup just under my butt and he lifts me up and I respond by wrapping my legs, tightly, around his waist. I bring my mouth back to his and am momentarily disappointed when he doesn't kiss me but that fades fast when I feel his tongue on my neck. I let out such a noise that he jerks in surprise and moans at the feeling of our hips colliding. He looks at me, eyes completely black, and for a moment I think he is going to pull away so I take drastic measures. I reach between us and, him watching intently, I unzip the top part of my gear, down past my bra... down to my belly button. His dark eyes widen and he looks at me, a question in his eyes. I answer by taking one of his hands off my ass and slowing putting it on my breast. I gasp at the sensation of his cold fingers, now starting to gently move, through my bra. I start moving my hips now and we both groan from the friction. He slowly, gently starts to move my bra down and starts kissing down my chest, teasing me. He mouth hovers right above his target when we hear... pfft...pffft...pfft. Except so many more times than that. I don't even realize whats happening until I see the pink paint splatter off of his clothes and onto the ground. Before I can even react Alice drops down behind Edward.

"I WIN! I knew I would. You are just too easily distracted, dear brother."

He simply sighs, zips me up, puts me down and turns around.

"You are just a sneaky little shrimp with bad timing, Alice." A smile plays in his eyes then fades quikly.

"Great here comes Newton. With his stupid little plan. Like I'm really going to let him shoot me there."

Alice coughs. "Yes, you really are. That was the deal. I win so you get to act. We know how good you are at that."

I'm lost. I start looking around for anyone else, specifically Mike when I step on something. I don't realize what it is I stepped on until I hear the telltale noise. Pfft. And off it goes. How it went off, I don't know. I thought I put the safety on. I'm not too worried tho. No one is around.

"OW!" This is followed by a high pitched flow of expletives. I guess someone was around after all.

Edward smiles at me, proudly, when all of a sudden his crotch is covered in green paint. Covered. His smiles fades and, when he gets shot in the ear, turns into a snarl. He reaches for his gun when Alice steps in front of him and stares him down. Reminding him, I assume, that he is supposed to be in massive amounts of pain. For the second time in two weeks I get to see my boyfriend pretend to be in pain. This time though, I am not the cause of this fake pain and for some reason this upsets me. Maybe its the stress of the past week, the fear of possessing a gun but I get mad, really mad. So when Mike and Tyler step out of the woods holding Lauren between then who is, in turn, holding her forehead I simply take aim. At the same time, I notice that there is orange paint under Lauren's fingers. I check my gun. Yep, orange paint balls. I smile... and fire.

**A/N Yeah the "Hit Edward in the balls" thing has come up in a few stories but its a classic and a goody and I think it will always be funny and I've been planning it since March '07 so I wasn't gonna change it. Let me know what you though of the story. Thank you for reading and sticking with me. **


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